Thursday, April 5, 2007

How to mingle at a party where you felt out of place and alone..

Have you ever been invited to a party or get together, where you felt kinda out of place and alone? For an example, you have no interest in the sport of cricket, you have no interest in the trading of magic cards, you have no interest in role playing games, and you did not know anyone in the party except the friend that invited you; and saying no to your friend would disrespect his/her open invitation. What do you do?

You’ll also know that your host friend will be so busy accompanying his/her other guests, they won’t have time to introduce you to anyone else, as most of them say, “Hey, glad you could make it!! blah..blah..blah..blah.. alright then, enjoy the party. Make yourself at home.” –> Then its like, wait a minute, i’m alone now..

So, whats the first thing you do?

I learned that being in one of these situations, I had to learn the art of being a good conversationalist.
The trick is to use your surroundings to start small talk with anyone and open a conversation base on what you see around you. Maybe the interesting painting in your friend’s house, the nice location of the party, the furniture, the lamp, the floor marbles, etc.. basically, anything that you see to start small talk.

After finding someone in agreement with you or show any sign of interest in speaking with you; You then make the conversation build deeper and stronger, and even make a link with the person you’re talking to; by letting them talk about themselves and stir up their interest of themselves. Just be a good listener and ask questions about themselves. They’ll be happy to speak about the challenges they faced, the good and bad times as well as their highest moments. If your’re lucky, they’ll be delighted to introduce you to one of their pals and build from there.
One thing for sure is; be genuine in creating interest of the other person. Don’t do it out of some “party strategy & tactics move” or even something you felt you had to do to survive in the deep oceans. Just take it easy and think in terms of finding a friend. Just use your heart to find interest in the other person; let them talk about themselves; ask about their experiences; ask them advice; just let them carry on talking about themselves.

Believe me, they’re going to show great respect towards you and even put a good word to others as well as the host of party. People throughout centuries mostly care about themselves and self worth with other people. For an example, if there is a group picture, whos the first person you look at in the picture? yes, who else? you. You will look to find, “where am I in the picture?” - Thats just a natural reaction of a human being.

So, in conclusion.. whenever you’re at a party where you felt out of place and alone, just think, “I’ve got to be a good conversationalist, I’ve got to be a good listener and just stir up conversations where others will speak of themselves.”

Now go out there and mingle

Its a party!

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